Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Bay Area Public Transportation Hike

I've never owned a car. Adam got rid of his car shortly after we moved to our current home. Luckily SF is an excellent city to be carless these days.

Just about the one and only major draw back to lacking a car is hiking. The Bay Area is wonderful for so may reasons, and one of the top o' the list reasons is the fabulous nature surrounding the cities here. Sure, there's Zipcar- and we've definitely used it for hiking- but driving 2 hours round trip for a 4 hour hike just seems... not great. Especially given that I almost always fall asleep right after a hike and leave poor Adam alone and bored behind the wheel. That's why it's always such a treat to find quality hikes entirely reachable via public transportation.


This week's find was a lovely hike up in the Oakland hills. Took the BART to Rockridge and then the 49B bus to Derby St & Claremont Blvd. There's an excellent collection of trails there.

The area is Claremont Canyon Regional Preserve is where we started and Strawberry Creek Canyon is where we ended. In particular we hiked the Stonewall Panoramic Trail & several fire trails.

As we were approaching the peak, we kept hearing these train noises. "Can we actually hear Amtrak from here?" we wondered. No, you can't. What you CAN hear is the super awesome Redwood Valley Railway which just so happened to be open for us on this weekday. For $3 a piece we hopped the train for a delightful ~12 min ride in the FREEZING COLD. We also forgot to stop Strava so when you check out the Strava results the flat ~2m portion in the middle is us hiking off the path, going around the train, and coming back.

Taking out the 2 miles and 30 minutes for the train trip, the hike was ~7.6 miles ~2hr 20min. Felt like a lot longer... because it was FREEZING COLD for most the hike. Be sure to check the weather and BELIEVE the reports before you head out on a hike, folks! End of the hike dropped us at the Berkeley BART.

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Keeping busy

Been doing a lot of things these days. November feels like it breezed right past and we're about to trip over the middle of December any day now. Crazy, that...

Cranky Rebecca vs The Drugs

Been keeping busy lately. More production, less consumption. A couple things in brief about consumption.

  • Birdman was great. You should go see it
  • True Detective rocked my world. You should watch it.
  • Interstellar is lame. You should avoid it.
  • Inherent Vice is great. You should go see it when it comes out, but don't expect to understand/catch half the dialog
  • Big Hero 6 is incredibly predictable but very lovely and hilarious. I laughted out loud multiple times in the theater. Also seeing animated Japan!SF was fun.
  • I think American Horror story this season is good... I bought a season pass but just can't seem to find the time to watch the last...4? episodes. I'll get to 'em... eventually.
  • I'm stalled out in the middle of In The Woods and it's blocking me from starting anything new/better. >:-/
True Detective : Shooting

In terms of production, I've been drawing a lot. Haven't tackled many backgrounds, like I'd hoped to, but I'm working on some composition/layout stuff and "coloring" in monochrome. My True Detective fan art has been fun and gotten me the most "Likes" of anything I've posted on Tumblr. Been coding a bit in my spare time, which feels nice. I think it's because of all the rain we've been getting here this winter. So easy to stay inside and draw or code when it's so shitty out.

A nice union of drawing and coding not too long ago was a Blogger page with my 4th Terminus character lineup on it. Turns out there's too many dudes to nicely put in one static image... and I've handfuls of more characters that I should sketch! Going for just a basic silhouette and minimal character features is super easy and very fun! Check out my 4th Terminus page in general incase you'd like to know more about that game I keep talking about. And here's a picture of my character around the start of last session. Good times!

Post-Fight Jaya

Am really looking forward to the long winter break. Adam and I are psyched to be just saying around town doing nothing, no joke.

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Body casting & Halloween

Halloween 2014

Goodness gracious, casting with alginate is super fun and super easy (which I guess just adds to the fun-ness). I wanted to build a face prosthetic for Halloween this year but wound up pivoting midway through. In the end I won the "scary" contest at work and caused several children to gasp in fear upon my doorstep so I'd say this whole thing can be written down as a success.

Highlights of it all?

  • A small frightened princess on my doorstep placed a hand to shield her eyes as she turned away from my visage.
  • Suko standing above me and happily saying "It's like frosting a strange cake!" as she poured cold alginate over me. This caused my smirk to be captured, I believe, which Adam claims adds to the creepyness.
  • At least three little ones silently shaking their head and attempting to back up as I descended the front steps.

Casting with alginate

To stress how easy this was, let me run through the process really quick.

Step 1. Acquire supplies, both of which are available on Amazon (Prime eligible). 1lb (454g) Alginate Molding Powder ($15) & Plaster Gauze (4"x15') ($7). The other ingredient is just plain old water. It helped that I had a food scale, but they include directions for mixing by volume as well.

Mise en place
I learned the phrase mise en place!

Step 2. Cut out a shield. Exacto knife + cardboard-- though technically this isn't required, it made things a lot easier. Use packing tape to create a lip/guard around the edge in case your alginate is runny.

Step 3. Mix. The package tells you 3.75 (water) : 1 (alginate) by weight and that works. (also says 1:1 by volume) Error perhaps for a pinch more water, I liked runnier over thicker mix.

Step 1: Be Ready Step 2: Alginate Step 3: Bandages

Step 4. Pour! Don't wait till it's totally white (I did and that's why Suko's nose got screwed up). Mix till smooth and then pour even if still pink. Sets in about 3.5 minutes!

Step 5. Support! Dip the cut bandages in the water briefly and then apply to face. Takes 5-8 minutes, only needs about 2 layers (can be applied at the same time). Be aware the bandages will NEVER dry all the way. The alginate is too moist. Just let them set 8 minutes and be done. The whole thing will always be a bit delicate, so be careful.

My face Poor Suko's Nose


Bonus Round. Buy some plaster of pairs and pour into the molds (as soon as they come off your face). Be mindful, the plaster HEATS UP as it sets. Never pour plaster directly onto your hands to cast. People have lost fingers doing this.

Suko did a shallow cast of her face and I did a deep one (I wanted a lot of chin) and to fill them it took two full containers of PerfectCast ($10) which luckily is exactly what I had ordered.


Be aware that the alginate picked up lots of details but still had a couple air bubbles in it, which lead to bumpy casts. I think if we had worked in the thinner mixture, spreading it around with fingers or a brush rather than just pouring it on we could have worked out a number of the bubbles. Also, the thinner mixture had more but smaller bubbles.

Messy Casts

Luckily an exacto knife proved perfect for cleaning up some of the bumps. The faces remained warm for quite some time, making it feel extra creepy under the finger tips as I worked my blade.

Cleaned up faces

On a whim I thought it'd be interesting to try and make a latex mask with the face negative. I'd picked up some liquid latex ($20) a while ago from my local Tap Plastic and hadn't really successfully used it yet. In between building up the jaw device (which was eventually abandoned) I applied a coat. After 8 coats and a day of work I figured "what the hell" and pealed it off (I only let it sit 12 hours as opposed to the suggested 24).

The results really surprised me and I immediately re-thought my entire costume. And started laying down layers for a second mask. And then later cast both my left and right hand the following day (by myself!)

Un-Supervised Crafts Another layer on My hand on my hand

Notes about making a liquid latex mask

  • For a mold the container says you need 8 - 20 layers. I found my mask to be great and it was (I think) only 10 layers? The hands were less, 8? which was reasonable but the left was only 6? and that I think was getting too thin. Somehow I failed to keep a reliable count for each of my 4 masks.
  • It doesn't tell you how long it takes to dry, only that you need to let it dry fully between each layer. Online I saw a range listed as 15 min and 2 hrs. I found 15 min early on if it's thin enough, but later I was waiting up to 40 min or an hour. I'd test dryness by tapping the latex with my finger. If I left a finger print or I got some on my finger, then I needed to wait longer.
  • If you wash the brush off right away with warm water you can get most the latex off but little gummies will build up over time no matter what. I managed to need only 2 cheap brushes for all 4 masks (both brushes winding up in the trash by the end)
  • Dabbing the brush with a bit of water really helped. Thinning the latex with a little water (or just by using a damp brush) helped.
  • I have the pint sized container of liquid latex. All four masks put a dent in it but I'd say it took less than half of what I had. (I'm apparently really bad at estimating volume)
My two masks
  • The alginate will start shrinking the moment it's cast. This meant that my second mask (started ~25+ hours after the initial casting) was noticeably (when worn) smaller! If you want a permanent mold, just invest in a latex one (but that sounds more complex and expensive)
  • Using a pair of good scissors I could easily snip the latex for threading & ring addition. For the hands I used an upholstery needle. You can't just push the needle through, I had to use a pad of sticky notes and press the needle tip into that to puncture the mask (otherwise it just stretched). The thinner glove seemed to be harder to puncture for some reason (it just stretched and then some times tore open next to where I was trying to stitch)

So... yeah.... Good times. Multiple people informed me that I looked scary. At least three people tried on my second face mask. Learned a new craft. Won a prize. Have a face cast to build on for future projects. Am happy.

Halloween 2014

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Nest of thoughts

Oh no, a post lacking photos! How dull! Very Livejournal-ish, let me spare you the effort:

TLDR: I'm really bad at drawing backgrounds/landscapes. I need to practice, but that sounds like work. Ugh.


When we were younger, my mother would frequently reference the idea of doors closing with age. Opportunities lost as time passed. I would never be a Olympic gymnist. I would never be a ballerina. It isn't always age that closes a door, often it's intent. I'll never be a poet, I'll never be a chemist, I'll never be an economist. This idea has always stayed with me.

There aren't many things that have passed me by that I honestly regret going. Sure, I wish I was athletic enough to be a circus performer, but that's not a realistic interest. I mention this, because I'm dwelling lately on whether my ability to "level up" at drawing has passed me by.

Most things are a matter of will, so why don't I just "try harder"? The problem I'm facing these days is I'm blanking on how to draw backgrounds. I simply have no idea what to put there. I know in a vague hand-waving way what I want to see, but the technical execution of pen hitting paper (or screen) escapes me.

I enjoy analogies and parallels, especially across my interest. Quilting and algorithms strike me as similar. To me, drawing is similar to data structures. It's the distilling and modeling of reality into this other medium. Failure to sketch landscapes/environments/backgrounds then translates into... what? Perhaps it's like you're describing a problem and don't know how to model it. It's not that I can't figure out the steps, it's that I can't figure out the very thing itself. Like I didn't know about a map or linked list or something.

Unlike the many things that I'm not good at, I'm finding this to be increasingly distressing. The lovely tabletop game I'm in has some delightful descriptions in it and I can easily "see" a scene. I know, as the description unfolds, what's there and my mental image remains consistent throughout the scene and often across sessions. But what am I seeing if I can't sketch it? I'm so confused.

Suko, one of the players, has taken to making audio recordings of the sessions which she then transcribes to everyone's delight and benefit. It's a monstrous outgrowth of her perviously daunting activity of taking notes during the session and then writing them up. Aside from rapturous joy, these transcripts also bring a sense of despair. I now, better than ever, can reflect on the descriptions given and then hold my pen at the ready, doing nothing. A lovely example from the last session:

They walk through the tunnel out onto a gently rolling hillock. On one side we see stretched before us, low buildings made of stone and metal roofs. The moon is hanging over them. It is sort of magical.

It flows into another hillock, over which hangs the other moon. At the top of that hillock are two people, backlit by the moon, sitting and holding hands.

And to the left, starting slowly at first but then growing to a veritable mound, nay, a hill, nay a mount...of bones. Bleached white and gleaming in the moonlight. Skulls. Femurs. Ribcages.

I totally know what that looks like. Except I apparently don't because I've tried twice now to frame the shot and end up with some really weak squiggles.

In a pervious game I sat and watched a fellow player sketch out the dramatic scene we were playing out right then and there. I can't recall a time in recent history where I felt such a intense stabbing, burning feeling of envy. It's been over three years and I still dwell on it.

The worst part is that I think I know what I need to do. Am I going to fail simply because I can't bring myself to take the correct actions? Possibly. In order to draw scenes and backgrounds for my characters, I need to be able to draw scenes and backgrounds without characters, which means I need to practice just drawing landscapes (and cityscapes, and interiors).

I hate landscapes. I mean, I can sort of appreciate an illustration or photo of a landscape (I don't *actually* hate them, the way I do poetry. Ugh, poetry...) but they're really quite booooring. Have you seen my photography compared to Adam's? All my shots have subjects right there in them, front and center (more like 2/3rds to the right) where as Adam's are sweeping shots of things far away. Buildings or a hill or a subject-less city-scape. It's his thing, our travel photos benifit from the mixture of our contributions.

Practice makes perfect. Drawing landscapes sounds like a pile of homework. I haven't done homework in nearly 10 years. Am I willing to put in the practice to get better? I hope so. I worry though.

I'm going to go buy a book tomorrow of landscapes and attempt to sketch from it-- finding digital references is just another avoidance tactic I've found. I really, really, really hope I find the strength to focus and work on this. Right now it sounds comparable to chewing glass.

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Barcelona & Berlin's Natural History Museums

Visiting a new Natural History Museum is the best! Visiting one in a foreign country, even better! I am very thankful that I was able to hit both Barcelona & Berlin this summer.

Barcelona NHM


To quote straight from my Flickr album:

Barcelona's Natural History Museum was one of the most striking ones I've seen.

It didn't have the best taxidermy (though it was good), it didn't have the best displays (though they were nice), it wasn't very kid friendly, and it wasn't very populated. What it did have going for it was that it had AMAZING pro-science text. I've included 2 plaque shots in this album and I should have taken more. The wording was firm and in no way dumbed down. I even learned things!

It had the briefest early-earth section I've seen (fine with that!) and followed the double sided glass display style which appears to be so popular now. Good for viewing, horrible for photos.

I would HIGHLY recommend this museum if you're in Barcelona. It's north of the beach, along the shore. Great stop to maybe evade the midday sun (as we did).

Just thinking back to this museum fills me with joy and a pinch of wonder. There was a whole mini-room on evolution that is one of the boldest I've seen and actually did a great job trying to address confusions people might have with the theory. Another room was all about scientific naming, and it really impressed both Adam and I. A subject that I hadn't thought about (perhaps Adam had- he has a Philosophy of the History of Science degree) that was laid out in a clear and interesting fashion.

Cold Hard Truth Science Words

There was also a great section on molds and fungus with giant models and interesting video displays that I didn't a single shot of- by that point Adam and I were running around trying to read everything. Good times.

Berlin NHM

I visited Berlin's NHM back in 2006, it was one of the first I'd seen. Since then it'd been lodged in my brain as one of my favorites for their innovated design and large taxidermy on display within touching distance. (I did not touch it!) I also have great sketches from my visit and fond memories of a Swedish boy who flirted with me and a young child who "helped" me with my sketch (she didn't scribble *that* bad on it)

It had been under construction then so I shouldn't have been as shocked as I was that none of it was as I remembered. Missing was my favorite-est display of animal kingdoms across biomes and everywhere were the now tedious to me large clear glass displays. There was the token "bio diversity" display I see everywhere and dinosaur bones (well displayed!)

Cabinet o' Curiosities The Common "Wall of Stuff"

After a little bit of time though, I realized I was being unfair. I was sad that exhibits I loved were gone, but in their place I had to acknowledge that there was some really great and inovated displays. The taxidermy was still top notch (and new!) and as I wound my way through I found at the end of the path some of the old displays I enjoyed.

Their collection can also be jaw-droppingly impressive when you take in the scope of it. I know many museums have large collections, but this one really highlights it. The massive wet room was breathtaking and the storage you can peek at upstairs heartbreaking (that it's not ALL available for display)

So, despite my initial temper tantrum, I would still rank the Berlin NHM as one of the best, if perhaps still the best.

Modern Exhibit Design Always Gannets

I look forward to going back again in another 7 or so years.

Alexander von Hombolt!

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Worken' on things

Quilt Progress

If I try hard, I might be able to finish this quilt before Thanksgiving, keeping it under a year of work. Am excited to try the idea of laying down masking tape as guide lines when I get to the actual quilting portion.


Been seeing a lot of people lately, doing a lot of things. This is good. Behind me is pizza, soap making, pretzel making, dinner cooking, and gaming. Ahead of me is archery, gaming, and hopefully more dinner cooking. I have finally cooked a meal with meat, I feel so proud of myself. Want to try it again. Thanks, Hannibal, for showing me the way!

Happy Feelings

Got a lot of things going on at work. I hope this is a good thing. Learning more things. Working a bit on things that I actually use daily in my not-work life. Trying to be a good person and actually follow through with quality documentation and faster email responses. It's hard. Being lazy is way easier. Shout-out to my awesome manager who leads via good example on those fronts.

Morning Sketches : page 5

One of the problems about work going well though is that it makes side code projects hard to do. I've been really wanting to work with WebGL but can't seem to find the energy after a day of work-- and weekends are meant to be spent entirely outside, in my opinion. I got a Cardboard headset from and haven't yet made something for it.

So instead of coding I've been finding myself drawing a lot. The morning doodles have decreased in number due to poor sleep... but on the other hand, when I do doodle half the time I've got crazy dream inspiration. Drawing while on a flight remains solid as well-- I made some progress trying to draw the character Hayley on a recent short flight. Dr Sketchy's this month also went quite well.

Gaming : Jaya

The 4th Terminus game has been going quite well. Playing Monster Hearts was interesting. Winning at Tigris & Euphrates and losing at Glass Road was fun and makes me sad that we don't play more board games.

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive


My Oculus Rift arrived yesterday and I have no Windows machine to run it with (and they've still not released the Mac SDK). So rather than fall into a pit of despair, let's focus on some recent positives.

Visited my parents in Vancouver two weekends ago. Lounged in my verdant childhood backyard and gobbled a number of fruits and veggies right off the vine. Saw The Book of Mormon. Did a lot of reading.

Goopy Cookies

Our head of Engineering keeps bringing in veggies from his garden, a most kind and appreciated gesture. On a Friday my posse & I made squash/everything/anything cookies. Too much egg resulted in them being more like mini muffins than cookies... but still good! The whole squash that was grated and tossed in did no harm!

Visited Seattle last weekend for a wedding. The planets aligned and my sisters were both in town as well (for their own Washington based weddings to attend). Always disturbing to see which parts of you come from your family, visible in the looks and behaviors of siblings. Weddings that prominently feature Jesus and preach about marriage belonging only to men and women are aaaaaawkward.

I've been carefully grooming a playlist themed on my character Jaya from the 4th Terminus game. Good times, been listening to it a lot. A lot. Have found myself doodling while sitting on airplanes (a disturbingly common occurrence lately) and I've been running through my list of tabletop characters but frequently finding myself back to drawing Jaya.

More flight doodling

I've been pushing numbers around at work lately. Wringing my hands frantically wishing load times to be faster. Pulling at my hair trying to extract meaningful information from a pile of logged data. I appreciate the diversity of work for my current team- writing SQL statements, poking at iOS code, still battling JavaScript, and possibly getting better at python (I still hate python)

Snowpiercer: Mason <3
I saw Snowpiercer in theaters. Twice. Damn fine film. Most excellent. Best thing I've seen in a long while. I felt good while watching it, like someone hitting a hard to reach itch. Have finally escaped my horror shlump of reading material and am back on a good kick of distopian material. Am on book 3 of the Silo series (which starts with Wool). The author, Hugh Howey seems like a cool guy. Finally read Starship Troopers. Am looking forward to the new Mad Max movie coming out in 2015.

My old art blog just passed 10k views.

Monday, July 28, 2014

Orange Monster

Orange Monster: Perched

It's been a while since I made a monster... Not since March, I believe. They're still on my mind, I've just been so distracted by other things and lacking any good mindless TV to watch while I work.

This fellow is yet another crab-parts monster. Much simpler this time, working on the theory of less is more. The core of this fellow is just foam so he's super light and squishy but not lumpy/shifting. The legs are just basic pipe cleaners I believe. The whole thing was super easy to make.

Orange Monster: Top

Unfortunately, I just brought my first crab-parts monster home from work and found his forward leg-claw to be chipped on the tip! Not sure if that's a sign that they will decompose further or just that they're brittle and I'm a clutz... Also not sure how to actually repair it... But the whole monster never really pleased me so not that big of loss... maybe it'll be one of the first monsters I finally throw out....

It's too bad that the only big claws I had all curved in the same direction... too many lefties I guess. Also, one of the claws has a chipped bump. The orange/white color scheme makes it pretty forgivable though. The little fellow looks like a creamsicle! I like the large bulging eyes as well, though I still wonder if I should have put a lid on it.

Orange Monster: Cup

I enjoy this little guy- the fact he was easy to make helps a lot. The way I sewed down his legs makes him rather floppy and easy to pose/place on things-- they come together so as to lightly "grip" something but can't bend too far back (because the body is in the way) and therefor can stand pretty reliably (though low to the ground).

Orange Monster: Attack!

Because our house is already crawling with my monsters and I like to keep a fresh rotation at work, this fellow is currently listed over at my Etsy shop as Orange Crab Claw Monster. Or you could just ask me for it in person and I'd be happy to give it to you for free. All monsters priced to move!

Monday, June 16, 2014

Tumblr is best thing

I've been fond of Tumblr for some time now, and that fondness has only grown with my usage of it.
Week 1 : Warmups
Started in on a wordy write-up on why I liked Tumblr so much, but I'm not feeling it. Brain is in image mode, not text mode I guess. The above sketch is from a work weeks' worth of morning warm up sketches, drawn while I sipped my tea before leaving the house. All of them are drawn from reference, see the tumblr post for links.

Ask me about it in person some time, I'd love to wave my hands about and rant why Tumblr is so marvelous. I don't think it is the single solution for all Internet things (see, I'm still posting on Blogger), but I find great value in what it provides and no end in sight for the delights found there. Distilled: animated gifs, fan art, community, content creation, reference photos, and simple interactions.

I continue to favor it as a dumping grounds for artwork. Currently the artwork chain goes Tumblr -> Flickr -> Blogger.

Was in Barcelona last week attending a Music Hack Day event for work. There was a minimum team size of 2 so I worked with a Paul fellow on making a web monome (he had a real monome that you could plug in and use with the site) [Github repo][Site]

It's 11:36pm and I haven't been hit with jet lag pains yet... am almost frightened by that. I don't worry about sleeping either since my eyes are already heavy, now as I type...

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Game Music

So... I was going to draw tonight... have this great sketch idea of Jaya licking her new arm. But instead I spent... jeeze... the last three? hours manually looking up & constructing the Gaslight playlist in Rdio. There are sooooo many tracks missing, it's a ridiculous tragedy. But even with that, there's still 68 available from all chapters. Good for me to listen to at work. But also a good reminder that keeping ahold of old MP3s has value. Just dug around and made sure I still had all of them on my backup drive... as well as a good handful of session recordings. Hilarious, those.

This was motivated in part because last night I pulled together some album artwork for my 4th Terminus and Midwinter playlists, which I had looked up & built quite some time ago.

There's an Academie of Magic one too, but I don't have artwork yet for it...

Now that I'm listening to the music, all I want to do draw is Lilly and her pretty pretty dresses... covered in mud. Possibly strangling someone. How are all my old sketches (mostly) not online?! Ugh...

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Two tones of good

I've just finished two books, both of which I deeply loved. They both feature strong women. Romance, to some degree, is touched upon in both. The nature of a successful relationship as well. Mystery, intrigue, action. Good books, I'd recommend all to read both though they are deeply different. It amuses me to say of both "This is what a fabulous female character is like. Why can't more characters be written like this?This shows the workings of an excellent relationship. Behold and take note! Study it!"

For one of these I say it with an ernest, honest tone. Heartfelt, friendly, wistful. Possibly a little teary eyed. That book would be Valor and Vanity by Mary Robinette Kowal (book 4 of 5 in the Glamorist Histories series)

The other I say with a smirk. With a grin and a wink. With the same tone that I confess my love of Cerci from Game of Thrones with and declare Silence of the Lambs to be the most romantic film ever. That book would be Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn.

Look away to avoid potential spoilers after the picture of Jane.

Jane of Valor and Vanity is so fucking sensible, it hurts. She's plane looking and normal. Times get tough, things get complicated, mistakes are made, but she keeps a level head. She does the things that need to be done, even when they're hard-- which frequently means emotionally hard rather than physically hard. She talks about issues, rather than letting them fester. Reading all of Jane's stories makes me happy, I'll probably cry after the next book comes out- I don't want it all to end. I wish I could have read this series when I was younger- here is an admirable but relatable character that strives to do the right thing and is a good, believable role model.

Amy's mind is amazing. The cadence, the logic, the poetry of her thoughts are seductive. Reading Gillian Flynn's writing was like drinking hot chocolate. How can you not love this: "... [we] fit together. I am a little too much, and he is a little too little. I am a thornbush, bristling from the over attention of my parents, and he is a man of a million little fatherly stab wounds, and my thorns fit perfectly into them" I itch to include a couple other quotes (oh Kindle highlights, how I love you!) but they'd be too spoiler-y... Amy's planning and commitment is admirable. She is without a doubt strong. She knows what she wants and she takes great efforts to obtain it. I wish I could be as strong and powerful as Amy.

Jane is the person I actually want to be, in real life. Amy is the person I like to imagine being, the ideal role-play character I wish I could play.

I wish all books I read starred such fully formed and compelling female leads.

(p.s. - I also just finished Ready Player One which I wish I had in book form so that I could throw it across the fucking room in rage. Reads like a Young Adult novel- which is fine, I read lots of those- but I wasn't expecting that and in the end all the "lessons" and "morals" and "take aways" from the story are shit/non-existant. At the end of it all the young white boy "wins" the love of the young white girl. She's just sitting there at the end, like some prize. Nothing challenging happened, there was no self reflection or growth. Waste of my time, I regret reading it)

Thursday, April 24, 2014


Nobody really want's to hear someone else's dream recollection. But I drew some pictures for mine! So maybe that makes this blog post ever so slightly less horrible...
Dream creature

I've been having several bad dreams recently. Cannibalism, not cool. Anyway, this one starts off and I'm somewhere and I notice there's these little creatures. They're almost cute, but a touch too disturbing. They're made up of a normal animal and where that animal's head should be, there's the torso of another animal. Not a graceful gryphon like transition... sort of a cut off & this other thing stuck on look.

In particular there's a rat with a rabbit top and a rabbit with a tiny adorable black kitten top.

Dream creature

The kitten is hungry. There's this... deer thing laying there. It's basically a deer but has a long chicken like neck that's mostly plucked. I try and convince the kitten to eat it-- it tentatively takes a bite of the animal's neck-- but it's a no go. I understand that if the deer-thing was dead the cute kitten would be able to eat it.

Dream creature

I go out looking for knives to kill the deer-thing with. Nothing I find is large enough or sharp enough to do the deed. I start to get squeamish. I contemplate looking up online where one cuts a deer's throat. Is it up high? At the base? In the end I acknowledge the fact that even if I had a knife, I probably wouldn't kill the deer-thing. Also, I think the deer thing has a human face now (curse you, Midwinter!).

I contemplate never eating red meat again.

I wake up

A couple more sketches can be found over on my Tumblr...